200 words. 488 words. 633 words. 778.. 1200 more to go.
Come on Razan, you can do it. Just another thousand words.. so you can start on the other essays. You can’t fail. Since when does Razan fail? Razan has never failed.
I will not fail.
You will not. You will do it.
I will do it.
Oh look, twitter!
*Returns to books*
Ahh, the wonders of the internet.
Do you really want to fail? Cause your chances of failing are much higher than those of passing at the moment.
So Work. And stop thinking about other things.
I don’t know where this essay is going. What on earth am I writing? I can’t stop thinking. I feel sick.
It doesn’t matter, just keep going. Even if it’s crap, just hand something in.
But I can’t.
Get over yourself. It’s not time to be a perfectionist now. Your time’s almost up.
Okay. Work mode.
Razan, you’re not working. I told you to stop thinking.
Leave me alone. Whatever happens, happens. Khalas. This is God’s will.
Stop letting one mere assumption and dream which have no concrete evidence to back them up take over your mind.
Wa7di Allah. Salli 3al rasoul.
La ilaha ila Allah. Allahuma sallia 3ala sayyidna Muhammad.
Now work… What’s stopping you?
I want to know what’s happening on the other side. I don’t know if they’re alright or not. How they’re surviving. If they’re okay or not.
That’s your mind telling you you miss them more than you should. Send them some love in your dreams, when you close your eyes. Then open your eyes again and start working.
I don’t want to send them love in my dreams, I want to send them love in real life.
Well you can’t now. Stop making life difficult for yourself. For goodness sake – finish your essays! Stop acting like a damsel in distress.
Argh. WHY am I being like this? Since when..?
There’s no point asking. There’s no point feeling annoyed and regretful and embarrassed. Just send them some love, and complete your essay. When you finish – send them more love, and start on your other essays.
What if they won’t feel my love? Or no longer want my love?
That’s your mind playing the devil. They want your love more than you know it. You just need to learn how to discipline yourself and have some self-control. Stop thinking about them, think about yourself. Love yourself before you love them.
Okay. I must study.
You must study.
I will not fail.
You will not fail.
1200 more words to go.